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Educate without yelling. Reasons and consequences for children

Posted on02/12/2021 1427

Those times when the child screams, or gets difficult, can be stressful for parents. We tend to get angry and respond in the same way, thinking or assuming that the child will react and learn the lesson, but it will not be like that.

According to experts, there is an explanation why children will never change their behavior when shouting, much less have a positive response.

The brain is programmed to learn in an environment of tranquility and security, when shouting, the emotion of fear reacts and automatically blocks an area of ​​the brain called the amygdala, which allows the passage of information and regulates emotions.

When this amygdala senses a danger, it automatically activates the threat and causes the child to move away. The area of ​​the limbic system where the amygdala is, deploys a protective action against these cries, making the child even more rebellious, want to defend himself or simply want to leave.

The amygdala is also responsible for storing memories that are related to emotions. When yelling a negative memory will be generated, for this reason, it is better to use other strategies that allow better results in the child's behavior, remembering that he is learning to educate his emotions and that parents are his first example.

The authority and tone that parents should acquire for a wake-up call should be exercised daily, and not depending on threats or yelling, but on firm words. The tones of voice when handling orders given is a good methodology that will allow you to recognize when parents are angry.

The tones of voice should be managed according to what you want to ask the child to do, if he is behaving well, the tone of voice should be pleasant and dynamic, if he is misbehaving or does not want to pay attention, the tonality of Voice must be firm and marked, not spread out in words, but be concrete in the order that is being issued, without threats.

If the child gets used to understanding those tones of voice, he will have a fixed and immediate response, since he has already been programmed for certain actions and calls for attention.

If the child is in an emotional crisis, with anger, screams or tantrums, it is best as parents to remain calm and wait for him to calm down without paying attention to him, when he calms down, you should arrive first with a praise, for example; I love you very much, but the behavior you had today was not the best, it is good that you express your emotions and what you feel, but there are better ways to do it and it is through dialogue. A good deed that will confront the child, making him feel loved, leading him to reflect.

It is important to have established limits and norms, routines that help him to be orderly with his time and teach him responsibilities so that he does not have to constantly scold him since he will be clear about what he cannot and if they can do.
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