Correct without blackmail
For many of us it is not difficult to forget very common words with which we all grew up, how, if you do not behave "I will not give you", but you behave well "I will not take you," etc. Words that rated our behaviors as bad and that we usually also use them with our children. Conditions that encourage the idea of creating an associated upbringing of reward or punishment, including children within a list of good or bad.
It is important to stop and reflect a bit since children do not always behave badly intentionally, children's behavior is associated with the learning they acquire through situations in which they often live experiences that allow them to grow in maturity and recognition of themselves leading to the strengthening of self-esteem, often feeling proud of themselves, which by disqualifying something that does not seem to us, can cause confusion in them.
Redirecting behaviors without qualifying them as you behaved right or wrong or complied or not, will create empathy and an understanding of why they can do certain things that are not always approved.
The condition with I give you or I do not give you if you do what I say, creates a fear of disappointing the other, the sadness of not receiving what was promised or feeling the shame of a scolding. These words are something that should be dispensed with, as these types of threats will lead children little by little to feel the need to seek the approval not only of parents but also of their social environment.
Replacing threats with communication, empathy and mutual respect will achieve a greater response to the behavioral change of children.
Understanding is important to any bad action of the child, seeking correction without the need for blackmail, guiding them and leading them to understand what they did wrong.
First of all, we must put ourselves in their place without labeling them, being clear that they are prone to have changes in their behavior and to be more irritable according to the level of stress they are in or according to the breeding guidelines that are applied with the children daily, in addition to living in a constant recognition of their emotions.